womanhood is a cruel joke.  that’s all i gotta say.  and it basically revolves around your boobs if you think about it.  think back….did they grow, when did they grow, what complications ensued when they sprouted…what happened as a result of not having them…blah blah blah.   are you a boob man? do you orgasm from the nipple…??? it all sort of comes back to the boob.  ask yourself about that and tell the truth.  as complex as you wanna be….when u reduce things down: BOOB.

funny thing is….people used to tell me “your body goes to shit when u  have kids”.  i thought “YOUR body goes to shit” not mine…and then i got preggers.  well, let’s just say my gigantic boobs became ginormous.  it was so bad I had to have custom bras made (this subject will be attacked in a separate entry!!!) .  hard to believe I can start a blog and reduce myself to writing about boobs so quickly. but boy it feels good to vent!

the thing is….pregnancy gives u some ugly line on your tummy (they have some technical name for it…mask of death or something prophetic).  like G-d has marked you: “DONE”.  over. kaput.  unsexy. not needed.

your nipples get HUGE and never go back….things well, they are never quite the same.  one friend said she was a 32 D and now she is a 34 LONG.  I think it is a cruel joke of nature.  you are this flower one  moment…colorful, soft with petals, firm and unscathed.  then wrinkled, withered….shriveled, with huge nipples.  you pollinated baby.

you like me might actually consider some type of surgical help to “lift” your spirits (and your poison sacs — thanks pasha for the term)…but, I need to warn you:

anyway….what they don’t really tell you as in the end….they grow.  so all this boob job stuff and growing bigger or reducing smaller becomes rather irrelevant when u get old and they just plain GROW.

be careful my dear blogbuddies….careful for what u wish for.  and believe me. they grow.

not that my breasts aren’t awesome, of course they are.  at least in my fantasy. or my blog.

by