My son had some issues with the thought of pooping at school when he was very young.  He was in kindergarten and he just didn’t like to go anywhere but home.  Yes, I know that my blog has degenerated quickly into discussions of poop but what can I say.  I am a “shitty” blogger.  Ha.

One morning I encouraged him to try to go before we left for school.  He went to the nearest bathroom and kept the door cracked open while I unloaded the dishwasher nearby.  My daughter tapped her fingers on the counter all impatient for him to be done so we could get to school.

I attempted to relax him by bantering.  I’m not sure this had the proper effect but…I was trying. (In fact, I do that a lot and it almost always has the opposite effect. On everyone.  Note taken.  Be quiet when nervous.  Thank you meditation teacher).

“So, you know it’s not the worst thing that could happen if you have to poop at school you know.”

Silence from the bathroom.

“I mean, you know, pooping is normal.  We all poop.” (I look up at the news on TV. for inspiration.)  “I mean, President Obama.  He poops too.  Everyone poops.  You aren’t the only person.  It’s part of what we all do.   Kobe Bryant poops.  How do you think can jump so high if he was full of poop? No. He has got to poop too.  So you shouldn’t feel like it is a bad thing to poop at school.  Just relax…”

Silence still from the bathroom.

I continue to unload the dishwasher.  A little voice from the bathroom says:

“Mom, is Kobe’s penis black?”

I had to stop from giggling as I saw where his mind had gone…imagining Kobe on the potty and all.  My mom used to tell me to imagine the teachers or whoever I was scared of at school on the potty.  I guess it did humanize them.  I was not sure exactly what or how to answer.   So I said, “I’m guessing it matches the rest of his body but truthfully, I haven’t seen it so I am not sure.”

feel free to reply if you know the answer I should give.

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